Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
