dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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