can we get nightvision for the apartment?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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