I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
did i walk over a car last night?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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