I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
