A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
