I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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