Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
