Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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