There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize