she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
