i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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