So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
