Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
