I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
