it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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