He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
