You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
