only if we run a train.
done.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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