I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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