does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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