Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
