oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
