it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
