Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
