my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
