Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
