I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
