At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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