their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
