I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
