I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
