It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
