u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
