honey bunches of taint.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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