Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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