hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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