I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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