haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
