He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
