Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
