I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm both gender and math confused
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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