Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
