Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
