I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
