Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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