i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
40s are totally the cure
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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