need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
