I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
