Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
