I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
